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For the first time, actor and television presenter Mandira Bedi reflected on losing her husband, Raj Kaushal. In an interview, Mandira said that she has now processed the loss to a degree that she can speak about it publicly, which is something that she had avoided doing for three years. Raj Kaushal died of a heart attack in June 2021. Mandira said that for the longest time, she wasn’t able to speak about him without crying, but has now mustered up enough courage to talk about what he meant to her and their two children.
In an interview with Humans of Bombay, Mandira said that the first year was the hardest, but things became better the year after that. She said, “The only way out is through. Of course, my children and I think of him every day. It’s not like we’ve forgotten him. The first year was very, very, very, very hard. The first of everything is just impossible to deal with. The first birthday, the first anniversary, the first Diwali, the first Christmas, the first New Year. The second one is a little bit easier, the third one is a little bit easier…”
Mandira Bedi said that she is still a work in progress, and that her immediate reaction to dealing with the loss was to immerse herself in work. She said, “There are moments when we remember him because of a song. I’ve done the therapy I’ve needed to, there are times I still do it. As human beings, we are always a work in progress… What I can do now is talk about it. It makes me emotional, but I can. There was a time I couldn’t. But I won’t break down… I started working two months after it happened… I have to support my family and myself. I need to do it for my children.”
Mandira said that there are certain things that she still finds difficult to do. “It’s been six years that I’ve had his car. And I have to sell it now. I’d been holding onto it for emotional reasons, and now I’m going to shed a tear when it goes. So, it’s a work in progress. I’ve dealt with the bulk of it, but for the rest of my life, I’ll always grieve him. One thing I still can’t do, is that I can’t listen to Kishore Kumar music,” she said with tears in her eyes.
Raj Kaushal died of a heart attack at the age of 50. He had directed films such as Pyaar Mein Kabhi Kabhi and Shaadi Ka Laddoo, in addition to several commercials.
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