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Swara Bhasker surprised all her fans after she announced her wedding with Fahad Ahmad last year. Recently, the actress opened up about the thoughts she battled with before accepting her feelings for her now-husband. She revealed one of the biggest fears she had was ‘if I will marry Fahad, I won’t be invited to Bollywood parties’.
Swara Bhasker and Fahad Ahmad recently sat for an interview with actress Amrita Rao and her husband RJ Anmol on their YouTube channel Couple of Things. During their conversation, Swara Bhasker shared in detail the kind of feelings and fears she had before accepting her feelings for her now-husband Fahad Ahmad.
She said, “I was at a very weird phase of my life. I believed I didn’t know how to judge people. I always trusted the wrong people, who mostly let me down. There was also age difference. I just thought it was not possible. It was just too much. And it was really shocking for me, because I am not someone who would care about ‘Log kya kahenge’, but yet, I was feeling terror.”
She added, “I was constantly having these thoughts: ‘How would my parents react’, ‘What would my brother say’, ‘How will my friends react’ and the most shocking thing is that I thought if I will get married to him, I will not be called for Bollywood parties –their Diwali parties. This was actually what was coming in my mind, and I couldn’t understand why. It was shocking for me because I don’t filter my words, I don’t care about other people’s reactions, I am quite a frank person. So this was very humbling for me. I told myself, Its okay, you are feeling this, feel it.”
She recalled the moment when she felt liberated and all her fears about her relationship with Fahad faded. She recalled, “I was in the USA at that time. I have an uncle, who is white. He knew religious difference, but he wasn’t much aware of class difference. We were talking on call, so he asked me who is this person. I told him ‘He was a friend’. He could understand I was denying my feelings, so he sat me down and told me the most beautiful thing. He said, ‘If you will find every quality that you like in Fahad in a different guy, who will also match up all your other practical conditions, would you consider him then?’ And I unconsciously said, ‘No, but he won’t be Fahad no’. And it suddenly hit me, I was like, ‘What was this’.”
The actress shared, “At that moment, I was like why am I feeling so scared? That’s Fahad, that’s who he is. Everything makes him who he is and everything makes me who I am. So I think that liberated me. All my fears faded then.”
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Celebrating her first anniversary this February, Swara had shared a long post sharing details about her decision to marry Fahad. In a long post, she wrote, “‘Wise men say, only fools rush in…’ Fahad & I certainly rushed into marriage, but were friends for 3 years prior. It was a love neither of us noticed blossoming, perhaps because the differences between us were many.
Hindu-Muslim was only the most obvious. I’m older than Fahad & we come from different worlds: a big city girl from an ethnically mixed English speaking family & a small town boy from a traditional Western UP family that speaks Urdu & Hindustani. I’m an actress in Hindi films, he’s a research scholar, activist & politician.”
“But our liberal arts education & values gave us a shared language of political beliefs & a common vision for our society & country. We met at the CAA-NRC protests in December 2019 & even organised one together. Slowly, we became close confidants. I felt safe with Fahad & always seen by him. He said he could talk to me about anything without fear of judgement. After months of intense communication & night long conversations, I asked Fahad what next. He said though we were worlds apart, we were very compatible, he was very fond of me & if I waited 2-3 years for him to ‘settle’ we could marry. I was stunned but also disarmed by his confidence & candour.”
Her post further read, “I always thought I had gone beyond the log kya kahenge mentality, but suddenly, I was worrying about how family, friends, filmy acquaintances & even my ever loyal trolls would react. I had to face the secret shadows in my heart. Amazingly, Fahad could read my unspoken fears & we worked through them.”
She added, “Our families were concerned, but we stood by our love. Our shocked parents accepted our BIG decision, though hesitantly & after gently laying out concerns. When they met us together, I think they felt reassured. We were married under the SMA one year ago today. Fittingly, a relationship that began at a protest to preserve the Constitution was solemnised under constitutional provisions. A month later (I was pregnant by then), we celebrated at my nana-nani’s home with shared customs. There was lots of music, feasting & a Daawat-e-Walima. The joyous 10-day affair felt like a cultural mahotsav!”
On September 23, 2023, the couple welcomed their first child, a daughter, Raabiyaa.
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