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Yet another Guy Ritchie movie in which the tailoring is better than the storytelling, and the quips more pronounced than the characters, The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is the sort of committee-driven ‘content’ that appears to have directed itself. Not all of Ritchie’s recent movies have been this impersonal — The Gentlemen was suitably rambunctious, Wrath of Man made top use of its limited budget, and The Covenant might be his most underrated film ever — but The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is slight both in its ambition and execution. An action-comedy featuring at least half a dozen major-ish characters, it often feels like a prologue to the movie that Ritchie wanted to make, but now might never get a chance to.
Somehow, the most influential British film director of his generation (if you don’t count Christopher Nolan) has gone from making movies stamped with his distinct voice to churning out mid-budget potboilers like some sort of journeyman. It wouldn’t be surprising if he ends up directing a Netflix adaptation of one of his past hits or a live-action Disney remake. It’s not like Ritchie doesn’t have experience handling large ensembles or hyper-masculine themes; if anything, he seems to thrive when he’s working with rosters of men big enough to represent some country at the Olympics. But in The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, he struggles to balance the character moments with a plot that gets more convoluted with every scene.
Based on World War II documents declassified as recently as 2016, the movie follows the adventures of a group of soldier-spies best described as the Inglourious Avengers, as they band together in secret (and at the behest of none other than Winston Churchill) to plot the disruption of a Nazi operation. Led by the dashing Gus March-Phillips, played by Henry Cavill, our heroes must infiltrate a Spanish-controlled island named Fernando Po, and destroy an Italian supply ship stationed there because that, in turn, would dent the German war effort. Did we need the premise to be this complex (and this continent-spanning)? Probably not. The convoluted first act is one of the biggest reasons the movie fails to swim to the surface after leaping headfirst into choppy narrative seas.
As if the influence of Inglourious Basterds wasn’t pronounced enough, Ritchie has cast an actor from Quentin Tarantino’s masterpiece. Til Schweiger plays the menacing bad guy here, having starred as the memorable turncoat Hugo Stiglitz in Inglourious Basterds. Unlike Tarantino, however, Ritchie finds it physically impossible to write female characters; the sole woman here is reduced to a saucy seductress, even though we’re told she’s supposedly a superspy herself. An accomplished writer in his own right — his knack for witty dialogue is often overshadowed by his showmanship with the camera — Ritchie fails to create any memorable interaction between the gruff heroes. Barring, perhaps, the opening scene, in which Cavill and Alan Ritchson pretend to be a gay Swedish couple on holiday. You can almost sense the famously offensive filmmaker restraining himself from making a derogatory joke or two at their expense.
The admittedly enjoyable pre-credits stretch doesn’t set up further role-playing sequences. Instead, as the plot progresses, our heroes are boxed in by writing as broad as their muscles. Before long, they begin to resemble a collection of character traits and not people whom you, as the audience, can fully get behind as they proceed on their high-stakes mission. Scenes meant to evoke dread, like the one in which our Mata Hari stand-in and her partner go undercover aboard a Nazi train, are rather lifeless. Critically, the climactic action set-piece is undone entirely by Ritchie’s catastrophic decision to set it at the dead of the night. If you thought that keeping track of the dozen characters was difficult earlier, try doing it in darkness.
The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is perhaps the most cynical movie Ritchie has directed since his Aladdin remake; a film that exists solely to launch a franchise, or perhaps inspire a streaming spin-off. It ignores the many crimes of the British Empire and unironically presents Winston Churchill as some sort of Nick Fury figure. The editing is snappy and the score is upbeat. But all of this is a deliberate (and rather insecure) ploy by Ritchie to deliver something that only gives the illusion of enjoyment.
The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare
Director – Guy Ritchie
Cast – Henry Cavill, Alan Ritchson, Eiza Gonzalez, Alex Pettyfer, Henry Golding, Babs Olusanmokun, Cary Elwes, Hero Fiennes Tiffin, Rory Kinnear, Freddie Fox
Rating – 1.5/5
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